Is your People Pleaser running your life?
Is this you? Be honest, we all know someone who does this but is it you too?!
- You always feel responsible to make sure everyone is ok,
- Someone offers to pay you for a meal, a service or a treatment and you hear yourself say, “That’s ok, have this one on me”… and then kick yourself as they walk out the door and your bank balance is really low.
- You just didn’t have the courage to ask for the money. Maybe you pick up the tab every time.
- You fit someone for an appointment during time that you’ve allocated for yourself then you’re furious when they don’t turn up.
- You get a bit irritated and even resentful although you hate feeling that way, when others don’t appreciate what you’re trying to do to help them?
If you’ve answered yes, you’re almost certainly a Nurturer Archetype, typical of many healers and people in service roles.
Although Nurturers are generous, caring and devoted, reliable to a fault and give incredible value, they/we as I’m one too, often have a tendency to over-give and over-nurture and lose sight of our own needs in the process. Everyone else is thriving but we are exhausted and maybe broke too.
Many of my Money Coaching clients are Nurturers, especially the healers and coaches.
I caught my People Pleaser/Nurturer having a party.
I’ve caught my Nurturer have a party many a time. She organises events for everyone else then spends hours persuading people to come!
I’ve really got to know my Nurturer really in the last few years. For example, I caught her last month putting on an extra Reflexology course because the June date was full and there were three people who said they still wanted to come.
I heard myself say that I would put on another course and as I did it wondered if it was the best idea for me… I had a sneaky feeling but the Nurturer won. I set the date and a few weeks later the three I’d put the date on for were unable to make it! I had paid for the room, had one person booked on a course for six people and, in Nurturer style, I was a fed up! In the end four amazing women came but I the lesson was learnt, for the umpteenth time!
The Nurturer fights back when threatened!
I started saying that this Reflexology course was my last course of 2018 as it was high time to focus on my Money and Business Coaching. Even then I found myself having a sneaky look in the diary, thinking about booking another! The Nurturer loves the satisfaction of the transformation of others, making a difference, we thrive on giving great service.
I was able to reason with her, maybe wrestle her to the ground!
Luckily, I’ve been working a lot on self-love these last few weeks and was able to reason with myself that my coaching business needed me and I’d make a bigger impact on more people that way.
Help is at hand!
The good news is that you are a combination of several archetypes so although your Nurturer/people pleaser is having a party, when you start to understand the other aspects of your personality, in my case a Celebrity and Maverick archetypes, you can see the whole of yourself, draw on strengths of your other archetypes and build a new way forward. You also learn how to deal with a stray Nurturer.
If you think your People Pleaser is out of control and would like some support, drop me a line and arrange a complimentary 30 Minute Discovery Session. I can give you some advice to placate your Nurturer and you might even like to join one of my courses!
Rosemary is a Money Marketing and Soul Coach, helping women entrepreneurs, especially healers to find a happy, healthy relationship with money and run authentic, profitable heart centred businesses. She has had her own healing business and coaching practice for 25 years in Essex and works in a clinic and over telephone and skype with clients.
Message Rosemary on 07967 121167 or email info@rosemarycunningham.co.uk